It has been about 10 weeks now since I fell ill. A lot has happened in that time and it has mostly been wonderful. For whatever reason, we have been able to see my illness as a blessing and used it to refocus on the simple but important things in life. Oddly enough they are generally the things that fill a great amount of the immediate time and space that surrounds our life. Family, close friends, pets, comfort food, sunrises, sunsets, time spent on positive projects, early morning walks, the feeling of the ground beneath your feet, cold air on your face, the smell of a baby, the laughter of a toddler. Not since college have I taken the time to really focus on being better and healthier like I have recently and back then it was a very thin approach focused at broad based learning and physical strength. Since becoming ill, I have taken a much more complete approach at getting physically, mentally and spiritually healthy. My internal dialogue has never been so positive or reinforcing. I am able to see the positive in almost anything. I am able to stay present or regain presence easily in most situations. I make healthier more conscious decisions, and more consistently. I spend time on my physical health but have been forced to refocus on the simple basic things like stretching, yoga and meditation. I am assessing what does and does not make me happy, what is avoidable and what is unavoidable and how to accept the unavoidable knowing that I am doing everything I can do.
I just got a call from the Rehab co-coordinator and they have granted me two more weeks with my Rehab without Walls – where they come to the house for therapy. This is great news for getting back on track before transitioning to outpatient therapy. I have slid backwards since the birth of the baby, but the good news was that I started to get a bit of a cold and I was able to fight it off, even with the tremendous lack of rest. Our families have been awesome and Jennifer’s parents are still with us and have been so helpful. My ability to walk is greatly reduced as I fatigue and I have had to use the cane most days at some point over the past week. There have been nights were there was only 3-4 hours of sleep and prior to this my body has been requiring 12 hours of sleep each day. The most prevailing symptom is fatigue, without a doubt. It is very obvious how focus, positive mentality, and consciousness or presence is all much more difficult to manage when you don’t have enough rest.
I am using today, Monday morning, as a time to refocus, get back to some simple short term goal setting and try to not lose any more ground this week. After that I can get focused on regaining the recent loses. I am walking and functioning around the house pretty well, I have to take breaks and try to find some time to get horizontal and rest even if it isn’t napping. I can help out around the house a fair bit and can play with Wyatt pretty normally but I have to watch to not burn up to much energy in one blast, it made me sick the other night after a good wrestling session but it was worth It! I can cook a full big meal and do simple grocery shopping, take care of the dog (but Grandpa Doug has been doing a great job of that), and I can help with the baby by changing diapers and getting Jennifer what she needs around the house. I am able to run to the store and drive to the mall but have learned that the commotion and amount of energy required by a full trip out on my own is probably a little too much still and I have to be careful and make good decisions or I pay for it.
All in all things are very good and I am so grateful for the health that I have, the lessons I continue to learn and the health and happiness of Jennifer, Wyatt and our newest addition, Olivia. Life is good and only getting better each day.
Thank you all for your continued support and prayers. How could anything get you down when you have this in your life (see picture below)