Nine weeks ago I got up to walk to the bathroom and I ended up in an ambulance headed to the emergency room. Since then, the longest I have walked was about a mile. Today I jogged 3 miles. I just overcame some big hurdles, mental and physical hurdles. I jogged for three miles. The first response I got was “that’s great”, the next response I got was “you shouldn’t do that, you can’t do that, what are you thinking?”. It was for those people that I just kept running. It is not that I don't love and respect their opinions it was just that I needed to wield some control over my life and test to see what my will was capable of in the midst of this recovery. I am going to hurt, yes. I am going to be stiff, yes. I might take some steps backwards in the short term, and that is fine. Today was about mindset and will and personal power.
I went out with the intention of jogging a few 20 meter reps and doing some light stretching. When I got outside, the sun felt good on my face, the cold air felt good in my nose. I thought about my buddies at training camp in Denver sweating and hurting, and when I got done the first 20 meters, I heard myself say, “keep going, you can do more”. That little voice in your head really does have a lot of control over the things that we do or don’t do. While I was running I thought about how people will tell me that I shouldn’t be doing it. I thought there would also be people who would share their experiences with me - some good and some bad. Some other people would say good job! I thought about all of the different people who would think one way or the other. It was a pretty good metaphor for life. They can all have their opinions but ultimately what matters is that I get to decide. You need all of those people in your life. The supportive ones just want to support whatever you are doing, the others want what’s in your best interest as well, they just want you to think things through a little. Somewhere in the middle has to be the right answer. What matters though is that you make the decision and it’s yours to reap the benefits of as well as the repercussions.
If you are worried for me, thanks so much for worrying. If you are excited for me, thanks for being excited. Whatever you are feeling, thank you very much for thinking of me at all.
I am pretty excited; a little scared of how this will turn out, but mostly proud and sore, those two often go hand in hand. Now, a real good stretch.