Figuring out that your worst day was really a great day

Figuring out that your worst day was really a great day
September 9th, 2010

I recently attended a self-improvement conference and one of the themes that we discussed was “making your worst day, your best day”. After spending more time with this idea, I have decided that you don’t really make it your best day, but instead you change your perception of things to better understand all of the positives that can come from a “bad day” or a pivotal moment in life.

As many of you are aware, I became very ill last September and had many of my physical strengths borrowed from me for some time. It has been almost one year to the day since that occurred and I am able to look back at that moment and really measure all of the positives that have resulted from a seemingly awful experience.

Here is a short list of the positives that resulted from my illness; I learned that…
• The true nature and scope of my positive attitude is so powerful and that it really can overcome incredible obstacles
• Family is the most important and often most taken for granted aspect of a young adults life. Also that your parents love you as much or more then you ever imagined and even at age thirty three, they will give anything to keep you safe
• My wife is incredible
• Momentary pause to check what course you are following is extremely important
• The universe is whispering to us every day and if we ignore it long enough it will turn up the volume and intensity until she is heard
• Strange things that happen in life, coincidences that are not coincidences at all and that there are reasons beyond our understanding for events that shape our world
• Being forced to be a “stay at home dad” for a year is a pretty awesome thing and that we can learn as much from our children, even in infancy, as we’ll ever teach them
• I have a purpose on this Earth and that it is my job to find it, follow it and achieve it.
• People are thinking of you even when you least expect it and that old friends are still good friends they just appear less frequently in person in our daily lives
• Your hometown is always your hometown
• Strangers care about other strangers and the power of empathy is baked into our nature as humans and that we need to return to that very nature if we are going to survive as a species
• Who you are is not a one dimensional thing. Our being has so much depth and is different to so many people but is still attached to the larger person that we know as ourselves
• Finally that the voice inside of us, our spirit, is the truth, it knows the truth and is our compass leading towards health and happiness. The voice that we often hear opposing it is just our ego and is a creation of our physical mind which is weaker than spirit. Learning to separate the two and to follow the truth is not easy but is necessary to really living our life.

I apologize for the bullet format but as you can see there have been a lot huge lessons that I take as positive and that have led me in a better direction in life. My family and I have returned to Canada and our so happy to back nearer to our families. I am rapidly approaching 100% health and am very thankful for all of my lessons.

Thank you to all of the people who pray for us and who gave any amount of money or kindness in an effort to help stay on track. We are filled with the love that you shared with us and we have every intention of paying it back into the system each and every day of our lives.

Jim Moss

PS I am still going to space!

Not letting your grooves become ruts, and making time for yourself.

I have learned that from a healing perspective, my body does much better with routine. However from a mental perspective, I have a hard time being creative inside of a fixed paradigm. Obviously, right now, getting my body healthier is the priority and Christmas, as it is every year, is like a bomb blast going off in whatever your normal routine was. This year was no different. Since the 15^th of December, the healthy routine that I had going slowly started to fall victim to the events calendar and the shopping that comes with the holidays; granted we also have a 5 week old baby so I am sure that she has thrown a couple of wrenches into “routine life” as well. Don’t get me wrong, because I don’t beg for routine and so I am not being negative, but I seem to need it now more than ever.  From a psychological standpoint, I do enjoy less routine to more but I am learning more about that as well. Structure seems to help our bodies and minds run on auto pilot which can be a good thing for doing routine activities, however, the chipset that is our brain can get deep grooves of thought patterns that result from that repetitive life.  When we introduce new things regularly or randomly, our brains seem to set aside some “CPU time” for the just in case. Just in case it has to do something new, and as a result, we are better able to adapt and think sideways when we need to. Without the challenges that new situations create, our brains deepen the grooves of patterned thinking and I derive that it must make it harder to get out of those deep grooves when we need to. We all know that our brain is this incredible tool that is capable of far more than any of us request from it, but like a leg that you sit on for too long, it too will go to sleep, and when you want to get up and run with it, you might find yourself flat on your face. That is what happened to me.

The gift of my time in the hospital and at home, has been time – time to spend with my family and time to spend with myself. I’d love to say I’ve been hanging out with my friends a whole lot, but just because your life stops doesn’t mean that everyone else’s schedule opens up. I will say confidently however, that I have not been wasting the time, and although I likely take it for granted on some days, I have been trying my best at doing new things, and challenging myself mentally. This blog is a good example of that. Who would’ve known that I would enjoy writing so much and that it would prove to be such a healthy outlet for me – the professional athlete and perennial jock and salesman?  I suppose that I need to be jarred loose from my grooved patterns of thinking to push me to try some new things, and it has been very positive.  Getting back to the creative thinking aspect, I have found is that you can make time for creative thinking inside of a routine. Your life doesn’t need to be that of a mad scientist in order to be creative, you can set time aside to do or think about something new each day, and I dare say that you should. I have been doing a lot of meditation and now I can get very deep into thought and separate my mind from the body, and the spirit from the mind even, and I can do it fairly quickly now. Once I get to this place of free thinking and analysis of the present, It is like accessing a deep well of ideas and thoughts that you may have had briefly but never really looked at closely. The trick is to set the time aside to allow that bucket and rope to pull ideas up from your conscious and subconscious so that you can explore them. That requires setting aside some time for you and then to do it. Where does all the time come from? Do you need to be hospitalized to create this time and free yourself from the stresses of life? I don’t think so.

I can honestly say that there has been more stress in life since I became ill. There is more financial worry, and job concerns, etc, but I think my perspective has changed and now I look at things with a newly revived sense of priority. This seems to be the key factor in making time for yourself. You need to make yourself a priority in your life – whether you want to acknowledge it or not is your decision, but you need to be your best to make the people around you their best. You need to keep developing and you owe it to yourself to earn that mental and spiritual and physical health. To do this, you have to set aside time for yourself.  When you want to improve your physical health, you get a gym membership and you get on the treadmill or lift weights – not because you have to, but because you make it a priority. When was the last time you put your brain on the treadmill? When was the last time your spirit lifted weights? You might answer that you do it at work, but that doesn’t count. Doing it for someone else’s benefit is not as selfish as it needs to be. You need to take time to identify, and pursue things that stimulate you. Have a hobby, read books on a new subject, take a class, write a list of things and start chipping away at them. Get back to the goals and dreams that you had when you were a kid. Then you need to set time aside for yourself. You’re worth it and it is a priority, and making time for personal health, staying out of ruts and bumping your brain out of its groove.

I’ll finish with this one last thing. The wonderful part of children, aside from snuggling and saying hilarious things, is their imagination and their dreams. We all cherish and admire it in them. They wake up in the morning and tell us about their crazy dreams and we pray that at night they lay awake and think about these wonderful places that they will travel to and incredible things that they will do. Don’t you deserve to do the same? At what point are we supposed to forget entirely what it is to dream big outrageous dreams and travel in our mind to wonderful places. The upside to being an adult is that we are better able to make our dreams come true! We can make the money, we can make our own decisions and we don’t have to listen to adults who might tell us we are crazy. Take some time and go somewhere wonderful in your mind, and do it regularly, do something crazy and don’t allow your mental groove to become a rut.

The gift of my time in the hospital and at home, has been time. Time to spend with my family and time to spend with myself. I’d love to say I’ve been hanging out with my friends a whole lot, but just because your life stops doesn’t mean that everyone else’s schedule opens up. I will say confidently however, that I have not been wasting the time, and although I likely take it for granted on some days, I have been trying my best at doing new things, and challenging myself mentally. This blog is a good example of that, who would’ve known that I would enjoy writing so much and that it would prove such a healthy outlet for me? The Professional athlete and perennial jock and salesman?  I suppose that I need to be jarred loose from my grooved patterns of thinking to push me to try some new things, and it has been very positive.  Getting back to the creative thinking aspect, I have found is that you can make time for creative thinking inside of a routine. Your life doesn’t need to be that of a mad scientist in order to be creative, you can set time aside to do or think about something new each day, and I dare say that you should. I have been doing a lot of meditation and now I can get very deep into thought and separate my mind from the body, and the spirit from the mind even, and I can do it fairly quickly now. Once I get to this place of free thinking and analysis of the present, It is like accessing a deep well of ideas and thoughts that you may have had briefly but never really looked at closely. The trick is to set the time aside to allow that bucket and rope to pull ideas up from your conscious and subconscious so that you can explore them. That requires setting aside some time for you and then to do it. Where does all the time come from? Do you need to be hospitalized to create this time and free yourself from the stresses of life? I don’t think so.

I can honestly say that there has been more stress in life since being ill and that there is more financial worry, and job worry etc, but I think my perspective has changed and now I look at things with a newly revived sense of priority. This seems to be the key factor in making time for yourself. You are a priority in your life, whether you like it or not. You need to be your best to make the people around you their best. You need to keep developing and you owe it to yourself to earn that mental and spiritual and physical health. To do this you have to set aside time for yourself.  When you want to improve your physical health, you get a gym membership. You get on the treadmill or the Stairmaster. Not because you have to but because you elevate the priority of your own physical health. When was the last time you put your brain on the treadmill? When was the last time you put your spirit on the Stairmaster? You might answer that you do it at work, but that doesn’t count. Doing it for someone else’s benefit is not as selfish as it needs to be. You need to take time to identify, and pursue things that stimulate you. Have a hobby, read books on a new subject, take a class. Maybe write a list of things and start chipping away at them. Get back to the goals and dreams that you had when you were a kid. Then you need to set time aside for yourself, you are worth it and it is a priority, and make that time for making you healthy, staying out of ruts and bumping your brain out of its groove.

I’ll finish with this one last thing. The wonderful part of children, aside from snuggling and saying hilarious things, is their imagination and their dreams. We all cherish it in them and admire it. They wake up in the morning and tell us about their crazy dreams and we pray that at night they lay awake and think about these wonderful places that they will travel to and incredible things that they will do. Don’t you deserve to do the same? At what point are we supposed to forget entirely what it is to dream big outrageous dreams and travel in our mind to wonderful places. The upside to being an adult is that we are better able to make our dreams come true! We can make the money, make our own decisions and we don’t have to listen to adults who might tell us we are crazy. Make some time and go somewhere wonderful in your mind, and do it regularly, do something crazy and don’t allow your mental groove to become a rut.

Health update and what is next for me...

I have come down with the flu again, but it is clearly my own fault. I tried going out a little too much last week. I was getting sick and tired of missing out on everything and so I went out with my friends to a couple of different Christmas parties. As I should have expected, my body is just not up to it yet. 48 hours later I have the flu. Apparently my immune system is still pretty down and out and so being out too much and running myself down equals getting sick. I can tolerate the flu – it seems to keep coming back, so maybe I’m getting used to it! The part I can’t seem to get used to is the part where the body aches, sweats, headache, and vomit want out of your body so badly that it is willing to travel out of your nose! But, like I said it is my own fault, I need to buy back into the slow and steady plan.

I went to see my neurologist last week and she was pleased with my pace of recovery. She encouraged me to keep working out and told me that maybe in the New Year I could start trying to build muscle again. She also says she is hopeful that in a year we might expect to have no recognizable trace of the illness. The big question is, “When I can return back to work?” We hoped it might be just after Christmas but then recently my doctor said that I need to be able to live full speed for 2 weeks with no sickness or setbacks, otherwise working is still unrealistic. That is difficult to hear as I need to be working on something to maintain my sanity, and so I have started to organize my research and reading towards a goal and created a project of it.

The most common positive focus point, keeping me on track, is setting and working towards goals.  Looking at this more closely, I realized that in recent years I had set my big picture goals aside in the pursuit of more short term and less altruistic, day to day goals. I am getting back on track; “I want to help people to live healthier and happier lives”. Pursuing that goal will help me to be a happier and healthier individual. So I am choosing a huge and somewhat crazy sounding goal of going to outer space and I am going to use the process as a learning tool and a teaching opportunity for others. That is correct I am going to go to outer space. I am planning to raise the money, $200,000 from micro donations from private citizens and then use the accomplishment to create a non-profit, fueled by corporate donations.  The foundation of this project, is that the pursuit of your dreams is the pursuit of happiness and that I believe we all have the right to dream big and chase those dreams and in doing that, in a responsible and realistic manner, we can be happier and healthier.

Please read further about my trip to space at http://imgoingtospace.blogspot.com

Health status update and some insights that are working for me

It has been about 10 weeks now since I fell ill. A lot has happened in that time and it has mostly been wonderful. For whatever reason, we have been able to see my illness as a blessing and used it to refocus on the simple but important things in life. Oddly enough they are generally the things that fill a great amount of the immediate time and space that surrounds our life. Family, close friends, pets, comfort food, sunrises, sunsets, time spent on positive projects, early morning walks, the feeling of the ground beneath your feet, cold air on your face, the smell of a baby, the laughter of a toddler. Not since college have I taken the time to really focus on being better and healthier like I have recently and back then it was a very thin approach focused at broad based learning and physical strength. Since becoming ill, I have taken a much more complete approach at getting physically, mentally and spiritually healthy. My internal dialogue has never been so positive or reinforcing.  I am able to see the positive in almost anything. I am able to stay present or regain presence easily in most situations. I make healthier more conscious decisions, and more consistently. I spend time on my physical health but have been forced to refocus on the simple basic things like stretching, yoga and meditation. I am assessing what does and does not make me happy, what is avoidable and what is unavoidable and how to accept the unavoidable knowing that I am doing everything I can do.

I just got a call from the Rehab co-coordinator and they have granted me two more weeks with my Rehab without Walls – where they come to the house for therapy. This is great news for getting back on track before transitioning to outpatient therapy.  I have slid backwards since the birth of the baby, but the good news was that I started to get a bit of a cold and I was able to fight it off, even with the tremendous lack of rest. Our families have been awesome and Jennifer’s parents are still with us and have been so helpful. My ability to walk is greatly reduced as I fatigue and I have had to use the cane most days at some point over the past week. There have been nights were there was only 3-4 hours of sleep and prior to this my body has been requiring 12 hours of sleep each day. The most prevailing symptom is fatigue, without a doubt. It is very obvious how focus, positive mentality, and consciousness or presence is all much more difficult to manage when you don’t have enough rest.

I am using today, Monday morning, as a time to refocus, get back to some simple short term goal setting and try to not lose any more ground this week. After that I can get focused on regaining the recent loses. I am walking and functioning around the house pretty well, I have to take breaks and try to find some time to get horizontal and rest even if it isn’t napping. I can help out around the house a fair bit and can play with Wyatt pretty normally but I have to watch to not burn up to much energy in one blast, it made me sick the other night after a good wrestling session but it was worth It! I can cook a full big meal and do simple grocery shopping, take care of the dog (but Grandpa Doug has been doing a great job of that), and I can help with the baby by changing diapers and getting Jennifer what she needs around the house. I am able to run to the store and drive to the mall but have learned that the commotion and amount of energy required by a full trip out on my own is probably a little too much still and I have to be careful and make good decisions or I pay for it.

All in all things are very good and I am so grateful for the health that I have, the lessons I continue to learn and the health and happiness of Jennifer, Wyatt and our newest addition, Olivia. Life is good and only getting better each day.

Thank you all for your continued support and prayers. How could anything get you down when you have this in your life (see picture below)

JM

And now to stay healthy and slow it down a bit...

So, I thought I would write an update on my health today and then discuss some of my thoughts regarding both maintaining and improving my health. As of right now:  I can manage 45 minutes of continuous walking – usually about 30 minutes with a break and then 15 minutes more;  I am practicing very basic yoga to rebuild my muscle stamina; I can function very well in the house now; I have been able to help Jennifer with Wyatt quite a bit more and be less of a burden to everyone;  I drove the car for about a mile – a successful test drive that is leading me to more personal freedom.

I am happy to report that the activities of daily living are no longer an issue. These activities still need to be accounted for, in terms of the energy that they require to execute, but they don’t demand a significant rest period like they used to and overall, I am recuperating very well and seeing positive steps forward each day.

As I continue to improve like this, I am becoming more aware of my character and through personal analysis have realized a few important things.  My former desire to move too quickly, to get ahead of myself and to not live “in the moment” nearly enough has become very apparent. After experiencing a small slide backwards two weeks ago, the lesson of slow and steady was really hammered home. I have been walking around the neighborhood every day and I find that I have missed so much of what is around us because I moved to quickly or was trying to do too many things at once. Concentrating on not over-committing is a big one. Staying present with whatever it is that I am doing at the time is a skill worth honing. I am learning to soak up the environments that I find myself in and to consciously stay aware more of the time. When I leave the house or the coffee shop, I take a moment to make sure that I have everything I need and try not to rush out the door as infrequently as possible. These small adjustments to my daily living have provided me with great lessons for stress management. In my situation, I can’t afford to forget things in the house and have to “run” back in to get them. I have learned that moving slow and with purpose is a terrific new metaphor for my life. Slow and with purpose.

These past eight weeks, as difficult as they have been, have been some of the best of my life. On the heels of the biggest storms you find the brightest rainbows.

JM

Time to blow the top off... Revisiting goal setting

Blow the Top Off…. Revisiting Goal Setting


As a part of my recovery I have been very purposefully reevaluating aspects of my life and deciding which areas are healthy and which areas are not. It is not any one aspect of my life that lead to my illness, more that being ill has lead me to want to be healthier than ever. The more that I do this, the more I realize that I have steered away from a key personal goal of mine. I chart my goals in a top-down format and I have always made a conscious decision to ask myself first, “Will this make the word a better place?” What I am realizing is that many aspects of my life were not working toward that goal. Some areas were, but not in a truly meaningful way. I am generally happy, understanding, and positive. I try to be a good friend and offer my help in any way that I can and as often as possible. What has been missing is a life project that that aims at literally making the world a better place – more specifically, helping the people in it to be happier people overall. I don’t need to preach or presume that I know better but I know that I can always strive to be better and in turn, aim to lead by example. I need to create a life that; fills me with pride, allows me to sleep well at night, makes me happy when I look in the mirror, makes my children want to look up to me, and makes the people around me happier and healthier.

I work hard to be a leader, I always have. I also work hard to be a good friend, family member, father and husband. I know that I can be even better. To fulfill this, I need to consistently, on a daily basis, ask myself, “Have I been leading by example?” “Am I surrounding myself with the people and things that will foster more goodness in the world?” The answer is not a resounding yes, unfortunately it is a sometimes. But, I am still growing and all that truly matters is that I know that I am capable of this, and am making the effort. I will stop settling for less. I will stop letting other peoples language or excuse making become my own and I will not allow others to place a ceiling on my goal setting. I decide what is good enough for me. Average is only good enough if my goal is to be average. I am capable of much more than that. I cannot continue to just play well enough to win. I am capable of being a champion in all that I do. Thank you to the sports world for teaching me how to be a champion. It is time to apply that lesson to life. It is time to set my goals as lofty as they need be and eliminate the ceilings that I have built over my own head. It starts now.


Make the world a better place.

Help others who are seeking happiness to reach their potential.

Start with yourself.

Don’t lead with your left, lead with your heart.



JM

Today’s Horoscope and an Update…

“Your next steps should be focused on long-term gain not short-term reward.

Lots of back-and-forth will be going on today -- sharing ideas has taken a front seat in your life, and it's rewarding to find yourself in such accord with so many people you respect. Another rewarding aspect of all these discussions is that they remind you of what you believe and what governs your life. You'll find these convictions to be strengthened over the next few days. Listen to opposing viewpoints with objectivity -- above all else, do not judge others!”

So my horoscope has been eerily poignant lately. Like a good fortune cookie, the semi-ambiguity of them allows me plenty of room for interpretation. Today’s horoscope however, seemed particularly fitting. In any case – it’s always good to give your mind some perspective!

As for an update….

• ·          I am walking very well in short bursts, but my endurance is limited and after a long day, my gait becomes pretty sad and very slow. Glad to be able to move around as much as I can though.
• ·          Unfortunately, for the most part I have been in constant pain – around a level 3-4 out of 10 at most times and this nasty headache seeps into my life most days as well.
• ·          Had a two-hour massage this week (Thanks Najet!) and it was awesome – first time since September 19^th that my pain was a 0/10 and it lasted 4 hours – did I mention awesome?!
• ·          Able to do about 50-60% of my normal activity in my home environment but I, and likely anyone would, greatly underestimated how tiring it is just to do the “normal” things.
• ·          Learned that resting does not include: getting up off my butt, going to the fridge, playing with Wyatt, taking Jackson for a pee, moving a box around the bedroom. A requirement of resting = getting horizontal.
• ·        Fatigue seems to be an ever-present aspect of this and you might even detect it a bit in my tone today. I apologize, I feel it’s important to be honest with myself and others, but also trying hard to stay positive.
• ·        Stretching is tiring as hell but feels great.
• ·        I might be able to drive a car in 6-8 weeks? I hope?
• ·        Have started to do some work again for STX – just a very little but it feels good and I miss it. I received a wonderful card in the mail yesterday from a great man that I work for and was reminded that I am very fortunate to have a second family, rooting for me in Baltimore. They have been more than supportive and It reconfirmed why I starting working there almost six years ago.
• ·        Jennifer is 4.5 weeks away from our scheduled C-section delivery of Olivia James. She is doing really well. She’s tired and all of the normal stuff that goes along with being pregnant, including being sick of getting kicked in the ribs, but looks beautiful and thank you all for your concern about her and the new baby as well
• ·        Went to Wyatt’s first-ever lacrosse practice with Coach Shaydon and his buddies: JD, Taylor, Dylan, Evan and Lauren. Cutest thing I ever did see – I’ll post some video ASAP

I think that is about it. I continue to receive 16 hours a week of therapy and it is at a slow but steady pace. I am beginning to accept the long-term nature of this kind of rehab, and am focusing mostly on getting as normal as possible by the time the new baby arrives.

I am grateful and thankful for my health, my family, my therapy, all of your support and a million other things. I am finding it is worth saying as often as possible to help me stay in the right frame of mind.

Have a great weekend,

Jim Moss

If you really want to be selfish…. Send someone flowers...

So… today’s blog is nice and light. Instead of smelling of Old Farts it reeks of fresh flowers.

Tomorrow is my Mom and Dad’s Anniversary. Congratulations Mom and Dad and I love you! So, my Dad being the good (and the very lonely) guy that he is these days since I borrowed mom four weeks ago to help us out while in the hospital, sent her some flowers. Impressive as he is, the flowers arrived two days early and surprised us all. They are a beautiful, fall bouquet of roses and sunflowers and they light up our living room as we speak. (See picture below.)

I’ve been getting up pretty early since all of this happened in my life, and just before my morning meditation and thankfulness reminder, I saw the flowers on the table. They reminded that I had been meaning to send flowers to my wife (8 1/2 months pregnant with a useless tit for a husband and a 2- year old to mind) to try and cheer her up and to tell her “thank you” for helping us to all get through this last month alive. So, I jumped onto the laptop and within five minutes I had ordered a bouquet of flowers for her that would be delivered before noon that same day!

I am a big flowers guy. They make people feel great, they are always a surprise, and they let someone know that you are thinking of them when they least expect it. There are what is considered the “floral occasions”, but those are the dates that expectation, either good or bad, is already in play (sorry ladies – a little zing.) Additionally, there are one-million reminders on every street corner, in every inbox and on every newspaper page in the country, so the guys who forget on Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day should be shot (zing score card…Women 1 – Men 1). In fact, those holidays are so predictable, that the floral companies should work with the government to send all women flowers like junk mail and take the money out of our man-taxes (liquor tax). In my opinion, the flowers that mean the most are the ones that show someone that you are thinking of them when they don’t know that you are. I should say, that anniversaries count in the “very important to remember category” because your anniversary, acknowledging the day you got married, is not to be taken lightly. So, good work Dad!! Not only were you two days early, showing solid preparation skills, you also eliminated the possibility of last-minute scrambling, or worse, total failure to accomplish your mission, resulting in serious disappointment. I also have to admit to all the wives, no, we may not automatically remember our anniversary, we are men, we have worked very hard to knock down the expectations on us, please don’t rob us of that. (Women 1 – Men 2)

Let me add this, flowers make the sender feel just as good as the receiver! Yes, it’s true – take it from me, the old adage that “it’s better to give then receive” is right on the money! First of all, you give yourself a high-five for having thought to do it. Then, you give yourself another high-five for figuring out how to do it online, and then there is the pleasure of waiting to hear from the person when they receive them. They always call right away and in every case, are happy you thought of them. It is like laying down a land mine filled with Hershey Kisses instead of shrapnel. The anticipation of their happiness is so worth it. And, if you are really smart, you’ll think to send it to the office or wherever they might be with their girlfriends, because they get doted on by the people around who think “that is so nice” which leads to a double-dose of feel good. You get triple points for surprising someone in a good way. They feel great, you feel great, all the witnesses of the good deed feel great – it really is a win/win all the way around. In fact, the only losers are the husbands of the other ladies in the office who have never (or at least not recently) thought to do it. (zing on the loser husbands making the final total Women 1 – Men 3 on the zing scorecard)

OK, so yes, I may be high-fiving myself a little but I’m still on the flower sending high! However, as I sign-off, I’ll leave you with this, Women are apparently way better than men according to today’s scorecard so go ahead and SEND THEM SOME FLOWERS! And, enjoy being selfish while you’re at it. You deserve to feel good about doing something nice for someone else. Don’t let money stop you. I’ll mail you the 10 bucks if I have to, just get up and do it! Send ‘em to your wife, mother, sister, ex-wife, whoever you want, they deserve it. And, ladies you can send them to your mom and sister too or even your girlfriends, you just don’t get any “man points” for doing it.

Also, please share this link on Facebook or Twitter (little button on top left) and let me know if you took my advice and how it went – I would love to hear about it. Men all over the country, you may love me or hate me but like an old coach of mine used to say…Screw’em if they can’t take a joke.

One last thing, FTD, Teleflora and 1800 Flowers – this one’s on the house!

Smelling like roses,

JM

Here are some deals I was able to quickly find online.

FTD.com through PayPal gets you 20% off

http://www.paypal.com or http:// www.ftd.com

Teleflora = 10 dollars off at the checkout

http://www.teleflora.com/?s=t&Srccode=PS_YH_S_GEN_cpon&ky=coupon+flower+online&promotion=PSYH10D

1800 Flowers = 15% OFF

http://ww4.1800flowers.com/collection.do?dataset=10476&cm_mmc=paidsearch-_-ysgeneric-_-yahoocomp15-_-15off&bannerBeacon=true

November 19^th, 2009

It’s been a month… A month that was a blessing.

Holy crap – now that I say it, I’m realizing that it was a month ago that I said “I think I’m finally getting over this flu” and then WHAM! the Universe saw an opportunity to sucker-punch me with a lesson to the mid-section.

Earlier this morning, I read a profile post on Facebook that got me thinking. A good friend of mine wrote, “great to see my buddy up and walking around at my son’s POP Warner football game” (which they won 27-0 so good work Lucas) but what made me think was my response: “Now to work on running as fast as those kids!” I realized, that was something I could do a month ago today. What got me thinking was, is that really what is motivating me right now?

When we are kids we are so carefree. We can run and play all day without worry. We can make mistakes without heavy consequences. That’s what we are supposed to do. That’s how we learn at that age. The other thing that occurred to me was that maybe running that fast isn’t what I am supposed to be doing right now? Maybe what I needed was to slow down and to learn some lessons and take a different, more purposeful or meaningful look at whom I am, who I want to be and where I am headed. There is the chance that I would find I was happy with the current me and that would be fine. At least I stopped to check in. Potentially, I’ll find I am not on the “right track”. Maybe I need to identify the problem areas and find a back-road to get me closer to where I would rather be. I suppose that this is what I am doing right now and this blog is part of that process. Thanks for hearing me out. I’m learning as I go.

As I look back on my childhood, I feel that I made many of my mistakes because I was going too fast and didn’t stop to think. I didn’t make a habit of slowing down to make good decisions. I was always on the go –

• · racing out the door to school – forgot my lunch - went hungry or had to borrow... again
• · racing in from playing – got to run to hockey – race out the door – forgot my stick or skates
• · caught up in verbal sparring at school – “won” – regretted what I said later - hurt someone's feelings
• · ripped through my homework so I could go out and play – did a spotty job - bad grade - disappointed

I suppose that we have so much to learn that we can only learn so much at any one time! At that age some of the lessons have to be put off until later. We have to amass the experience in life to really see how some of the lessons apply before we can ever be in the correct frame of mind to make another step forward.

As for the slowing down a bit part: I remember realizing through my sports that as some of the older guys that I played with got slower, they seemed to play better! How could that be?! Faster is better right? Stronger is always better right? I guess not or those old farts couldn’t possibly be getting better? P.S. Old lacrosse farts – no disrespect, apparently I am one of you now! What I realized is that they were slowing down but that gave them the ability to stay present, think things through and make better decisions. They would recognize the benefits of good decisions but they’d also learned to avoid the pain of making bad decisions on the ice or the turf.

This week’s goal: Make an updated “life mission statement” that outlines who I want to be and then start to work backwards from there. Treat myself like a business plan and put the time into the details just like I would if I were hoping to start a new successful business. I plan to slow down and think this one through because if it were a business and I did a half-ass job, ignoring the details, would I really expect it to be a success?

Embracing being an old(er) fart that makes better plays,

JM

Leaving Rehab - Oct 14th, 2009

This is just a quick not with some of my feelings on the morning that I was to leave the Hospital. It was a roller coaster of a day but when I put the videos up of Wyatt welcoming me home, you'll understand as clearly as I did that Home is the only place to be.

Then there is this one... .so cute, what a great little kid! he had everyone in tears.

Check out the huge hugs! Those are a cure for anything.

Thanks All, I'll be updating again soon but the continued support is really amazing.

JM

So here is the latest video demonstrating how much improvement I / we have made and in large part due to the tremendous support that we have received. Apparently what I have been utilizing is called Quantum Healing and involves the thousands of hands of those people who have sent their support, lifting me and supporting me to lighten the load of learning to walk again. Just look what 7 days can do in a persons life. If I can do this, just think of what you can do or accomplish in your own life in 7 days if you set your mind to it.

Here is the week before so you can see the difference a week can make in your life. Believe it!!!

Update on progress, hold the deep thoughts......

Sunday, October 10th, 2009


So I haven’t stopped thinking about the “deep” stuff but I thought I’d give a nice simple update outlining how much improvement I have made over the past couple of days.


(I’ll write this at the top of the page in case you don’t make it all the way to the bottom….
Please send me your current phone numbers, email and mailing addresses as I am going to spend some time updating my contacts this week. jimm@stx.com. Thanks)


Friday

1. Started the day with a trip home!!! To check things out and see if any changes to layout etc need to be made to accommodate me in the house.
1. Really exciting and wonderful to walk through my own front door but really hard to have Wyatt say “ No Daddy I no want you go, No Daddy”
2. Good news is that the new apartment is perfect for my present situation
3. Can’t wait to sleep in my own bed, with Jenny and start getting better sleep
2. Worked a lot on balance and was able to balance myself on a BOSU ball alone, started very shaky but with a lot of concentration was able to quiet the muscles
3. Walked for 5 minutes on the treadmill at 1.6 mph trying to improve cadence
4. Did some “squats” down to almost 45 degrees with no support
5. Walked to therapy without a cane (75 feet) and then kicked a soccer ball back to my room at the end of the day with no cane.
6. Got my butt handed to me in the card game UNO by one of the other patients
7. Nerve and Muscle pain is like I was working out full tilt getting ready for the season
8. Woke up at 5 AM for the second day with a low level migraine headache that we couldn’t beat with meds, blood pressure as high as 170 over 108 (needs work)

Saturday

1. Back on the treadmill, this time for 6 minutes, and got going as fast as 2.0 mph
2. Woke up again with Migraine, third day in a row, going to try some new meds to beat it
3. Body is very sore again, low back, neck and all stops in between.
1. Spent a lot of therapy time on trying to fix back and neck
2. Hips and “girdle” seem to fall out of whack and can’t stay in tune all of the muscles learning to operate together again
3. Who thought walking was so hard on the old body?!
4. Missing the UNC vs. Brown Game today which is sad but soon, would have been too much commotion likely
5. In the afternoon we did almost a full lap around the building, about 200 meters
1. Walking speed is almost normal for short bursts in the hallway
2. Still need to get endurance up but they say it will come back quickly now
3. Graduated to no cane!!!! And was given permission to operate in my hospital room with no supervision. Like a 13 year old!!! Woo Hoooo
4. Earned the freedom to walk around the floor with no nurse or therapist as long as Jennifer or my Mom are here
6. BP topped out at 186 over 112 at one point today – good bye salty and fried foods. Time to apply the “short term pain (sacrifice) = long term pleasure (health)” theory on the food front ( starting first thing tomorrow, lol)
7. 
   Coming up...
   
8. Sunday is a day of rest around here, but I’m not resting, try to walk as much as I can with Jennifer and My Mom, rip some push-ups and do some ab work
1. Will try to get some video of walking to update Facebook and the kids back home
9. I have my tentative DD (discharge date) for October 15th – This Thursday!!!!!
1. Maybe even earlier with all of the gains of the past couple days
10. Trip to one of my favorite places, the grocery store, on Monday learn how to function in that environment and get groceries to cook a meal.
11. Tuesday I get to cook a meal for the staff. Is it conceited to say that I miss my own cooking? Have to decide what to make?
12. Wednesday will be spent getting ready to move home Thursday.
13. They are convinced they get me into a very light jog for 10 – 20 yards by Thursday!
14. Drop five LBS through diet control and increased energy spend.
15. DID I MENTION MOVE HOME ON THURSDAY!!!!! WOOOOHOOOO

Thanks you so much to everyone for the continued support and for the cards and gifts that we have received. Very special thanks to Ryan, Kristin, Sahr and Kelly (my therapists) they have been so incredible.


Love you all,
Jim

The "Comeback Trail" is Never Downhill

In the history of the mankind, there has never been a comeback trail that was downhill. Why should mine be any different?

15 steps = 5.7 miles

This morning I am challenging myself to accomplish 15 steps with moderate help from my Physical Therapist and no walking device (cane or crutches). It is Monday AM October 5th, 2009 all of my friends and family are headed off to work like any other Monday. A couple of my friends are in a charity golf tournament today in Los Gatos. Another friend was flying to Disneyland with her daughter to visit what they call the greatest place on Earth. I thought they were referring to the hallway just outside my door as that is the place that I am relearning to walk and my get my much desired freedom back.

Mondays are for Moaning and Groaning, shaking off the weekend, and looking up hill at the week ahead of us. I’m not taking that approach today. How possibly could groaning about it make the week ahead of me any better?

I have the most beautiful view out of my window at the rehab hospital (I'll try to get a picture to post). Accompanying that beauty is a Vente Double shot of irony, dry. I have an incredible view of the Los Gatos Mountains (which I am thankful for), however, it is that same mountain that just three and a half weeks ago I would hike to burn off some pounds and get ready for the upcoming Lacrosse season. 5.7 miles total trail 3.0 up and 2.7 down the back side, 40 minutes of hard but fun work. A good sweat. About 10-12 songs worth of I pod time. A ton of great fresh air, And a little bit of sunshine on the skin to go with it.

There will be no hiking today. Well maybe? I will be hiking my ass out of this wheelchair and into the hall for my work out! No sunshine, fluorescent lights. No fresh air, just hospital smell. No I pod, just gentle reminders to balance, breath, relax etc. from my incredible rehabilitation staff. No mountains, just a mountain of work.

They say there are about 2000 steps in a mile, therefore, I would normally walk about 11400 steps or so on my hikes up the Mountain. So each proud, difficult, wobbly step this morning will be the equivalent of 760 steps 3 weeks ago.

It's all relative.

Love you all,
JM

Getting started, working sideways and hopefully forward...

So this is day 1, of blogging since discovering that I have Guillain Barre Syndrome and have been in hospital for 16 days.

Going to get everything setup and then move forward with some thoughts and questions for space and anyone who stumbles onto this.

The past few weeks have been trying, educational and totally unimaginable but ultimately positive and filled with hope, support and perspective. No matter what is going on in my body and mind right now, we are going to make this a positive experience and find and maximize the personal growth that we are being offered.

Stay tuned and please feel free to comment.

I am Thankful for my health, my family, my friends, good food and excellent healthcare.

JM